Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler. Good.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Orange What? Orange Who the hell are you and what do you want? Orange I am calling the police if you do not get off my doorstep in 5 seconds you a$$hole

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I love my new microwave. It comes with a list that tells just how long to cook things. Now i know how long to cook a baby for

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What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? Mittens

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Me.

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says Why the bloody face? The shark replies by saying my wife beat me with a stick. Considering that sharks cant talk, the bartender ends up going to the doctor to see if he may be dillousinal.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

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Why did OJ SImpson never get convicted of murder? Because after going to court and proving his innocence a jury of twelve people found him not guilty.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled yo his face.

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GUYS! I GOT AN A IN MY PIANO EXAM!!!!!

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What time did the tennis start? Tennish

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Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

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Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

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Roses are red,nuts are brown,skirts go up,pants go down,body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in,the longer its in, the stronger it gets,it goes in dry, comes out wet, its comes out dripping and starts to sag Its not what you think its a...Teabag

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kill a hooker and get his money back.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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Knock knock (No one is home)

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haha.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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