Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guiar who? Violin.

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I told my friend a joke. He didn't laugh, I asked why. He said he was autistic and he does not understand humor.

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Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

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Bob (laughing): Jared fell off of a cliff Jim: What's so funny about that? Bob: Nothing. I'm laughing at the girl that just fell out of a tree into a giant tub of peanut butter!!!

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what did one mexican say to the other Hi.

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What did batman say to the Joker? I'm Batman

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Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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What is the difference between Charlie Sheen and Michael Jackson? One is dead, one is not.

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Looking for a job in this economy is like trying to find employment during an extreme economic downturn.

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Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

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The glass is half an hour.

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Roses are red, violet are blue I have AIDS

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A: You can't wear cleats on a trampoline.

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Q: What do starving children in Africa eat? A: Nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go fishing.

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What do you call a black man forcing two young girls into his car with a gun? A Police Officer.

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What do you call an illegal citizen from the Middle East? Someone seeking a better life in a democratic country after suffering in a communist government for his entire life.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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Why are we posting shit jokes on here? Because we can't drink!

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has been diagnosed with chronic insomnia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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