Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

Why did the cow puke up his grass? Because it is necessary so that the cow can re-chew his food to aid with the digestion.

Q. Why did the man fall off his bike? A. He was hit by a canoe.

a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

Why did the man say how was your day? because it was the end of the day

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blood is red also Nothing else is blue

why did the man scream? he stubbed his toe on a door

A mushroom walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind." the mushroom asked why, the Bartender said, "Because your under aged"

What is the difference between Charlie Sheen and Michael Jackson? One is dead, one is not.

You have a birthday party and invite 5 celebrities: Britney spears, Lady Gaga, Hulk Hogan, Barack Obama, and Oprah. Meanwhile, there is a cow in a nearby pasture pooping.

What's black and white and red all over? A cow being processed

Women's rights.

The glass is half an hour.

here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

guns don't kill people. casey anthoney kills people.

What's flatter than a pancake? The baby I just ran over.

What did the priest get for Christmas? Herpes

What do you sit on, sleep on and brush your teeth with? A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush

what's worse then droping your phone. 9/11 having sex with the holocaust

JESSSSIICCCCCAAAAAA!

French people

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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