A hot girl walks by a boy and he stares at her as she walks past. She see's him and asks "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied "Oh I'm sorry. You happened to look familiar and I thought 'Perhaps I've met this person before. School? No. Work? No. I then concluded I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at".

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What's funnier than a dead baby? We'll.. Pretty much everything I can think of.

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What is worse than a paper cut? two paper cuts What is worse than two paper cuts The Holocaust What is worse than The Holocaust Three paper cuts

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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What do you call a black man with scissors.? A Barber.

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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

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what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

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i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

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What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

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A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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Women

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Why was johny late to school? He died

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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GONNA

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Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

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What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

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Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

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How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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