A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

There's no "i" in tim.

Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

What do you call a deaf person? You don't they can't hear you.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

Wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

What do you call a black guy flying a plane. A pilot

What is brown and sticky?

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

so he says "aaahhh". then i threw a fridge at him

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

What was the dying Raccoons last words? I don't want to die.

What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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