Your mom is so ugly that your father married her because of emotional, spiritual, and intellectual compatibility, not because of sexual attraction.

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How did Hitler die? He saw his gas bill

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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Osama Bin Laden dies.

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We're out of mustard, so in your sandwich I used some yellow liquid dripping from a dying rhinoceros.

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Why isn't Neil Patrick Harris like Barney Stinson in real life? Because he's gay

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A soccer player, a basketball player, a football player, a hockey player, and a baseball player all walk into a bar at different time periods of the day

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Goon Bear+Homo= Corey Jacobs True Story

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing. Fruits can't talk.

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't put it in a basket.

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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A scottish and a mexican were walking on the streets when the mexican got hit by a car. The scottish man called the ambulance and walkked away.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guiar who? Violin.

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What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

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Q. what did the refuge from uganda say to his mom when he was riding his bike A. look ma no hands.....

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Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

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Why was the jewish girl happy? Her pussy was wet!

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What did the black man say to the jewish man? Hello.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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