You have a birthday party and invite 5 celebrities: Britney spears, Lady Gaga, Hulk Hogan, Barack Obama, and Oprah. Meanwhile, there is a cow in a nearby pasture pooping.

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here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

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guns don't kill people. casey anthoney kills people.

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JESSSSIICCCCCAAAAAA!

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Yo moma is so fat. yep.

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Your Mama's so fat she need some serious medication treating overweight.

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French people

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What do you sit on, sleep on and brush your teeth with? A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush

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What a russian says to another russian? I don't know, but it must be somthing in russian.

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What's red, loose, and easy to wear? A rock. I lie about everything.

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What's flatter than a pancake? The baby I just ran over.

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What's the difference between The Holocaust and baking pizza? Pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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What do you call a horse with wings? Nonexistant. Welcome to the real world kid.

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School : Todays lesson, 1 + 1 = 2 Exam, find the radius of the sun

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alert('hiiii');

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What do Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey have in common? They are both white, male, good actors, white, rich, and white. Except for the eagle.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

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Here's the senario, There are 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara dessert. the question is how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? The awnser is purple because ice cream has no bones.

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Women Voting

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What did the deaf, blind, poor orphan get for Christmas? Cancer

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why did the boy dress up like a girl? because he has autism.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. knock knock. who's there? the chicken.

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Sex. That is all.

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What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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