what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

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Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

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really desperate to get laid guy gives out phone number in random places 5802352343 :D

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Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

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Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

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???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? I cant make a good joke.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her statement.

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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What did the computer say to the other computer? Nothing, computers can't talk

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Roses are burning, Violets are burning, my house is on fire

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What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

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9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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