Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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what did the scientist say in Siberia? burrrrrrrrrrilium

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A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

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Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

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How does Ray Charles see? He doesn't, he plays piano.

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a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's blind? No, because he's dead

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

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Why did Chuck Norris go to Chuck E Cheeses? Because his friend wanted to go.

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Hitler was Jewish.

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If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

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Whats why was the 18 year old boy scared of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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Vagina-Boob

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

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What's worse than a dead man?  2 dead men

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Knock knock Who's there? No-one who??? *Silence*

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whats the difference between a black man and a bench a bench can support a family

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Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

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Q: What do cows do on the weekends? A: They go to the Moovies Q:What do pigs do on the weekends? A:Go Bowling

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Lets make like trees and stand still

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A guy is playing cod

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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