Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin When They Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the koala fall out of the tree it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree it was fit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree it was inside the fridge why did the 6th koala fall out of the tree it was punished for dropping a fridge why did the 7th koala fall out of the tree it committed suicide after framing the 6th koala

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make a chicken fly? Throw it

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

thumb_up thumb_down +11

One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

your mom is so stupid she did not do so well on her IQ test

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a black man driving a car? A driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops