What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

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So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

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Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

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gesss what happen u promis not to tell anyone ok this is what happen !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOTHING

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

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two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

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What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

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Why did Chuck Norris go to Chuck E Cheeses? Because his friend wanted to go.

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Why do horses read books? We are all doomed...

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How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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What iz stupid? Hibiyav

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sixty....eight.

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*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

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potato farming

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

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dave lee travis walks into a radio station , plays some records , talks randomly , and a good time is had by all.

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why did the bird fall out of the sky? it had been shot by a bird hunter, as it was bird season.

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What'd the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Just Dance 2 the video game

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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