Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

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i want to eat a horse out jaffa cake

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What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

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yo mama's so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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who can jump higher than mount everest? anyone. mount everest cant jump

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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A Horse walks into a Bar The Bartender runs for his life as he is tripping on acid and believes the horse is a sheep. He doesn't like sheep.

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What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

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A man in a bar says "I'm drunk", immediately 10 men take of their clothes

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A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

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What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A rape victim.

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Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

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why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

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What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

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Why didn't the black man pay for his child support bills? He made some unwise financial decisions in the past and is working three part time jobs just to stay afloat.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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How do you make a chicken fly? Throw it

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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