Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Ronald McDonald was chasing him.

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What's the capital of Thailand? The letter 'T'...

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A man runs into a psychiatrist's office and screams, "You gotta help me doc! I just killed seven people in my office building!"

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Why did little Johnny eat his homework? Because his family is very poor and he rarely eats.

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killing a baby and putting it in one bucket is one thing... but killing a baby and putting it in ten buckets is just insensitive

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? His family had to sell it in order to put food on the table

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A man sees the doctor. "Doctor, if I hit myself on my head, it hurts, if I hit myself on my arm, it hurts, and if I hit myself on my leg, it hurts as well." "The case is clear. You need to f*ing stop hitting yourself!"

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My mom's dead

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wait am i supposed to right the joke down here

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Why couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub. One asks, "Hey, can you please pass the soap?" The other responds, "Sure, if you pass the typewriter."

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the your face joke

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Roses are black biolets are black I colorblind

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Busted? What the hell is going on?

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What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

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What do you call someone that hates gay people? An asshole.

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When Jesus came back from the dead the first thing he said was "It was just a prank bro!"

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"Knock, Knock" "Go away, I have a lot of stuff to do right now and knock knock jokes suck."

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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Connor "Rusty" McLeod

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops