Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

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An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her an anti joke

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Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

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how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

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Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

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How did the poor young women get Aids? She got raped.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

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How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

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Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? The Mexican is alive and the park bench isn't.

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How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

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What do you call a black kid on a bike ? Dirt bike

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42.

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I cant think of one (._. )

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Hellen Keller

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Why don`t women need watches? Because in our modern society, there are many clocks in most locations.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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I like my coffee like I like my women Without a penis

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy but get in the van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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