3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

whats worst than the holocaust? the holocaust times 2

Roses are red, Violet are blue, SURPRISE!!! Im about to rape you.

what happend to the ghost? he dissapeared! :)

What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

Knock knock. Come in. Okay.

Women's rights.

An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

How many small children does it take to change a light bulb? None. Children are not old enough to do this by themselves.

Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

Looking for a job in this economy is like trying to find employment during an extreme economic downturn.

Q: Who won the fight of two black guys and a white guy? A: The black and white guy because two is better than one.

Brittney Spears

"luke Bastiaan" "So, whens your period?"

what's worse than finding out god isn't real? finding out he is

What has one eye but cannot see? A brick with an eye drawn on it

What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

A man and a chicken walk into a bar... I forgot the rest of the joke .... YOUR MUMS A WHORE

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

My friends are like trampolines I have none

What did the dog say to the dildo? Your rubber

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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