1unno;njfjk

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An Irishman walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. jack fell down and broke his crown, and is now in intensive care.

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Q: What has one eye but cannot see? A: A blind cyclops

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What happened to the boy who got everything he ever wanted? He turned into a gluttonous and greedy adult who eagerly spent all of his money and subsequently died alone.

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Q; What do you call a dog? A; A dog.

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What do you call a man wearing a hockey mask and holding a chainsaw? A Lumberjack, I lied about the hockey mask

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Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

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I went seal clubbing the other day but as I was the only one with legs, the dancefloor was quite lonely

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A priest walks into a day care center. He calmly blesses all of the surrounding children a leaves.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars except the duck.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

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What does the latin maid does when I tell har to clean behind the couch? Nothing, she doesn't speak English.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 new what 6 and 9 were doing.....

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F@ck me in the ass until I say STOP. Before we start, can you please ducktape my mouth?

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What's worse than 4 black guys sitting in a Jeep that goes over a cliff? They were my friends.

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Yo momma so fat, she can't preform physical exercises with proper form.

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Roses are red violets are blue why dont u go take a shower

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If you don't live in the country, where do you live? The ocean.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Your mom was so stupid that she went back to school and now she is graduated with a degree.

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why did ben perve on the 5 year old girl he is a pedofile

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German sausage is the wurst

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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