Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -88

What is worse than the Holocost? Keeping the Jews alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -109

Q: What does a blond do with a box of crayons? A: Paints a picture

thumb_up thumb_down -121

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

mitchell likes balls in his mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Dead bodies are blue You can't see me But I see you

thumb_up thumb_down +95

There was was 14 apples in a tree. And that's it.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

only in america: does pizza arrive at your house faster than an ambulence do banks leave their doors open and chain their pens to the desks people put their usless junk in the garage and thier expensive cars in the driveway

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If Mormonism is true, and Mitt Romney becomes a god, what will that make him? Romniopotent.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why was the guy crying at the bar his house got bombed

thumb_up thumb_down -167

A man walks into a bar. The other two ducked, and then immediately called an ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Three guys are in the desert. They find a lamp, they rub it, and a genie appears. The genie says "I'll grant each of you a wish." So the first guy says "I want to return to my family in my native country." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The second guy says "I want to live in Hollywood, be famous and rich, and have dozens of girls around me." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The third guy says "I want to go to Hawaii." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. So all three guys end up being happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

whats funny? small ginger girls who die there head red, then it turns ginger again

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a restaurant and ordered a soup. Then, he called the waiter and said the soup tasted funny. The waiter said, "so laugh". the man then killed the guy and sips the soup while laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A blond and a brunette fall off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Neither. They hit the ground at the exact same time due to the laws of physics

thumb_up thumb_down -106

What is worse than finding 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? Finding 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -126

Q: What's black and can crash into you A: a black guy in a car

thumb_up thumb_down +111

What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They are both are fat and have beards, except for Tom Cruise.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why doesn't Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesn't float!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you get when you cross a cat with a giraffe? A genetically unstable animal that dies shortly after birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An owl and a squirrel were sitting in a tree, watching a farmer. The squirrel turns to the bird and says nothing because squirrels can't talk, and the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

a horse walks into a bar except it wasn't a horse it was Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops