Why doesn't Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesn't float!

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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waiter: can I get you something to drink? customer: I'll have a coke. waiter: is pepsi okay? customer: is monopoly money okay?

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Roses are red Dead bodies are blue You can't see me But I see you

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A man walks into a bar. The other two ducked, and then immediately called an ambulance.

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mitchell likes balls in his mouth.

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting in a tree, watching a farmer. The squirrel turns to the bird and says nothing because squirrels can't talk, and the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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What did Jesus say to his disciples at the Last Supper? Go to Hell.

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What is worse than finding 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? Finding 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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There was a girl who dumped her diver boyfriend because she couldn’t get him to give her a pearl out of an oyster. This particularly female has rather high expectations for her significant others.

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a horse walks into a bar except it wasn't a horse it was Sarah Jessica Parker

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A blond and a brunette fall off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Neither. They hit the ground at the exact same time due to the laws of physics

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A pregnant woman goes to the hospital to deliver a baby. It is born perfectly normal and healthy, the doctor looks at the mother and father offering them congratulations as he hands them a 9 lb 10 oz baby boy. The mother wanted a girl, but she instead develops post part em depression. She goes through years of psychotherapy to again become well adjusted, her second child is a girl.

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Why did the girl not have a good New Year's? She was murdered on Christmas.

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whats worse than your little sster being raped? her being raped by your father.

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What did the boy Tell to his friends? Nothing. He has noone.

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Knock knock! "Who's there?" "It's me, xx" "Okay, come in."

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Your moms so dumb she stuffed a battery up her butt and said i got the POWA!

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

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The original Superman: Cruelty! Do you remember the original superman color movies? Like when he just deflected lasers bombs fire and bullets, he threw busses, spun around the world, was completely immune to anything but kryptonite and then... (pls dont hate) ...Fell of a horse and became a complete cripple?

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Q: What's black and can crash into you A: a black guy in a car

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Who're you gonna' call when you're apartments being ravaged by ghosts? Your doctor, for you might have schizophrenia.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a giraffe? A genetically unstable animal that dies shortly after birth.

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Q: Why was Sally sad? A: Because she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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