Three guys are in the desert. They find a lamp, they rub it, and a genie appears. The genie says "I'll grant each of you a wish." So the first guy says "I want to return to my family in my native country." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The second guy says "I want to live in Hollywood, be famous and rich, and have dozens of girls around me." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The third guy says "I want to go to Hawaii." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. So all three guys end up being happy.

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What did one dolphin say to the other? Nothing. It was dead.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning? You don't.

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What is worse than the Holocost? Keeping the Jews alive.

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What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They are both are fat and have beards, except for Tom Cruise.

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Why was the man tired at his soccer game? Because he did not sleep well the night before

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A man walks into a park and presents candy to children. They request more candy and thus are laureded into his van. They are raped murdered and never seen again.

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An owl and a squirrel were sitting in a tree, watching a farmer. The squirrel turns to the bird and says nothing because squirrels can't talk, and the owl eats the squirrel because it is a bird of prey.

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How do you make an idiot laugh? Tell him a mildly funny joke relating to bodily functions, such as defecating or passing gas.

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Two black guys and a Latino were walking down the street. One of the black guys says to the Latino, "You have some lint on your suit." The Latino brushes it off and says, "Thank you. I have an important meeting with the board of trustees this afternoon, and it would have been embarrassing if I had lint on my suit."

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they get married and live happy together for the rest of their lives.

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

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What did Lebron James say to Brad Pitt? "What's up, Brad?"

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If Mormonism is true, and Mitt Romney becomes a god, what will that make him? Romniopotent.

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8============D PEN1S

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Yo momma's so nice that she baked cookies for us. Please tell her I said thanks.

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? i don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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What would Billy Mays do if he were alive today? Yell.

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Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

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Q: what did the deaf boy get for christmas? A: an ipod shuffle

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a n**ga!

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123

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how do you teach a baby to walk? cut of its hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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