What did a child without arms and legs get for Christmas present. Cancer.

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Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

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What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They were caucasian artists.

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Once upon a time there was a kid he was happy The End

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why did the chicken jump down the nest after laying eggs without flying? Because there was no ladder!

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What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

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Batman and Robin are about to get into the Batmobile. What does Batman say? "Get in the car Robin."

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A dead guy laying on the floor holding a gun and a knife. What killed him? cancer.

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I am just not using any mentalism nor any of those techniques anymore that is all, is it alright if I call you now?

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A spanish man, a french man and an italian man sat at a pub. And they realise no one can speak english properly.

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What did the priest say to the young African American male? Good to see you again Robert. That community service we did at Morris Park last Friday should give a real boost to the infrastructure of the already stellar community we live in.

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C.U.M. on guys, gay jokes arent funny

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Whats worse than hearing a terrible trombone player? The screams of the maimed and dying.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

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Guess what?? What? I murdered your mother with a slimy piece of ham.

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A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

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Q: What do you call a white sheet on the floor? A: A ghost costume, dirty laundry, or carpet are all perfectly adequate answers.

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What do you call a blonde with one leg? Heather Mills

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How do u tourcheer a fat kid? Make him chase a dounout

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haikus are easy but sometimes they make no sense refrigerator

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Q: How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Leprechauns aren't real.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they get married and live happy together for the rest of their lives.

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Why werent you at my party? Becasue there was none!

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels for the loss of their newborn child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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