If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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My Girlfriend

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Knock knock. Come in. Okay.

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Roses are penis Violets are penis I like penis Penis

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YOLO

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whats the difference between a black man and a bench a bench can support a family

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If through some strange space-time paradox, Chuck Norris ever had to fight himself, Chuck Norris would-- What am I saying, that would never happen!

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Roses are red, violet are blue I have AIDS

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Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

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Where do cows go on the weekend? The slaughterhouse.

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno, that's why I asked you.

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What is the diffrence between a strait guy and a gay guy? The strait guy gets into heaven.

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How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

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How Do You Get Your Mom To Shut up? You Kill Her.

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What's so funny about an anti-joke? Nothing.

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How can an iPhone play music? It has a built in iPod installed.

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Why did the girl hang up on her boyfriend? Because the roof collapsed on her.

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Write your own

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Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

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What olympic event is Kosovo best known for getting gold? Kosovo is the world's newest country and therefore does not yet have complete international recognition.

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

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A man suffering from terminal cancer walks into a bar and orders a soda because his doctor advised him not to drink. The bartender and others in the establishment are completely unaware of his disability.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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