What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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what do you call a cup?... a cup

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

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What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

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Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

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haha.

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a blind guy walks past a fish market and exlaims.. "it smells like a fish market"

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

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That's what he said.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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