Do you know that car over there? No.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

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An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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Why do redheads have red hair Because they were born like that.

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how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

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Why did the kid get athsma? Genetics.

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How did the poor young women get Aids? She got raped.

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete.

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What do you call a black kid on a bike ? Dirt bike

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

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Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

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I like my coffee like I like my women Without a penis

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

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Hellen Keller

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I cant think of one (._. )

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

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what do you call a kid with no arms and legs under a bus an ambulance, he's obviously in pain

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What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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