women playing football?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an orgy.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What happened to the kid who slept on a roof? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

thumb_up thumb_down +17

shut up

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between a black man with a pie and an asian with an apple. They're of different ethnicitiesand cultures, and are holding different foods.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

guess what? chicken butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Whats worse than having a dead car battery? A: Going to prison and getting raped by a black guy

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

thumb_up thumb_down +13

My friend may look like a circle but..... ......He's actually a square.......

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? over 100

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops