What did Batman say to Robin befor they got in the car? Get in the car.

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If a dyslexic man walks into a bar, check your notes. You told the joke wrong.

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-Whats the worst part about being a black jew? -You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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Sarah Palin is President

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? the cop

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Busted? What the hell is going on?

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i felt like burning some calories so i lit a fat kid on fire

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a beagle? An abomination.

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What's worse than the front page of anti-joke.com? The 4945th page of anti-joke.com, as those jokes have been rated poorly by other users.

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A englishmen an irishmen and a ginger walk off a bridge gingers have no souls

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? We'll.. Pretty much everything I can think of.

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What is worse than a paper cut? two paper cuts What is worse than two paper cuts The Holocaust What is worse than The Holocaust Three paper cuts

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How do you drown a blonde? From her infancy, instill in her a dread of the water. Keep her away from baths and showers, protect her from pools, and as the child grows, regale her nightly with terrible stories about the cruelty of the sea. When she has matured past 18, take her out to the middle of a lake on a boat and push her in.

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whats blue and fluffy? BLUE FLUFF

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Three blondes are walking through the woods when the come upon a set of tracks. The blondes stepped away from the tracks to watch the train as it went by.

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Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

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What's sad about 3 Black Guys in a Camero? It was my car...

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what do you call a cup?... a cup

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Women's rights.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What s faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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"What starts with F and ends with a K?" "firetruck?" "no, f u c k"

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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