What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Why did the man loose his balls? he had testicular cancer and had to get them removed.

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What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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Do you know that car over there? No.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

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Why do redheads have red hair Because they were born like that.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

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An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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World Peace

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Why did the black guy hate the white guy??? Because the white guy enslaved his ancestors.

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Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

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What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

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how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

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How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was both deaf and blind and both senses are essential to a driver

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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How did the poor young women get Aids? She got raped.

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

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Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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