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You smell bad? Cool.

Gracias por depositar mi dinero, y tener un buen día, adios.

why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled yo his face.

-Whats the worst part about being a black jew? -You have to sit in the back of the oven.

I HATE EVERYTHING OMG PEOPLE SUCK BOYS SUCK IM TAKING MY RAGE OUT ON THE INTERNET FDJKNDLKXC

Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

Why Couldn't the pirates see the movie? Because the mall strictly enforced local curfew laws ; and one of the pirates was unable to provide a valid form of identification.

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

Dad they tell me I am homosexual at school, what does it mean? Ask your boyfriend.

What's sad about 3 Black Guys in a Camero? It was my car...

What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

How do you check that you are not dreaming, but in actual fact, you are wide awake? Try to bite off our finger (this is actually possible, but the brain does not allow you to do it).

What do you say to the man with lopsided balls? I am terribly sorry, your condition has most certainly left you socially alienated and confused.

Women

What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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