What did the clown say when his car broke down? Sh*t!

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whos a tramp and stinks? David Bell

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

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What did the great political leader say in order to calm the riot. There were no definable words. He merely screamed as the riot swallowed him and tore him apart.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

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A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

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When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

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American Idol

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

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Your as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit.

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Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you call 400 black men rolling down a hill? 400 black men rolling down a hill.

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What does a person that is fasting get for Christmas? Food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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