Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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W.N.B.A.

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An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "How did you lose your arm?" The amputee doesn't respond because he has been deaf and mute since birth.

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Hey I just met you,and this is crazy,please stand up,if you're the real slim shady.

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Knock Knock. Who the hells there? Nevermind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Having lost his job, wife, and general sanity, he resorted to suicide by car accident.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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your moms so fat she has a heart attack when she walks to the pantry.

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Whats the worst thing that happened in the holocaust? it ended

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BUTTERFARTING

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Why did OJ SImpson never get convicted of murder? Because after going to court and proving his innocence a jury of twelve people found him not guilty.

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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Why couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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Boobs are nasty!

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Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub. One asks, "Hey, can you please pass the soap?" The other responds, "Sure, if you pass the typewriter."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 recently got out of prison for violent rape.

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sticks and stones may break my bones but cataracts will prohibit you from eyesight

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Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

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Q. Why did the koala bear go to court? A. Because too many people were referring to it as a bear when it is infact not a bear.

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I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

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What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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