How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the baby cross the road. It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Patrick is gay

thumb_up thumb_down +25

knock knock your gay

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Chuck Norris died.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's funnier than a rock. A funny rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the baby cross the road...? cause he was chained to my bumper

thumb_up thumb_down +21

yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

abcdHIV this disease is killing me

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

knock knock who's there a black person SHIT!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

WHATS WORSE THAN THE HOLOCAUST A FLAT TIRE

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man. That is all.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops