What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? Horse semen

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9! (Also it killed his family and nuked his country too)

A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Joke.

how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

What do you call a red sore on your genitals? Herpes, probably.

what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

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what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

What did the tourist in Africa get? A souvenior.

Your momma is SOO FAT that I had to call my doctor. He said you should go on a diet and exercise. I called my local gym and gave your mom a 3 months membership. Monday to Friday. Your welcome and good luck.

What do you call a Colombian who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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