What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

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Why did the black man rob the russian guy? He didn't. He was too scared.

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What did the say to the host of the pool party after he pooped? Mr. TImmons! There is chocolate in the pool!

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A Nazi ran into a Bar.

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What did the Ethiopian get for christmas? Hepatitis B.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, dogs can't speak English.

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why did abby get fired? cause she showed allie anti joke.com!!! :0

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Your mama's so fat, she's dead!

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Friends and Potatoes are similar...if u eat them try die.

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If u and I jumped off a cliff..who would land first? who cares..

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I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned

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like facebook.com/john maon

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see his mother before she passed away of terminal cancer

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Marijuana

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Me.

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Cry me a river. then try and build a bridge, fail, and walk away frustrated

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Lol you are really adorable, is more like maybe we will ask you some time, but hey, if you are asking, I mean you are beautiful, insecure, easy to break... I am totally joking by the way, you are completely down to earth, you are sweet, you know what you want, etc etc, hey, and to know what you want in life you got to be confident. Wait a second... I "act" like a savage? Lawl, "streams of OceANUS catchphrase"

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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Knock knock who's there? ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dislike me!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? His family had to sell it in order to put food on the table

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your mom is so old that she farts dust.

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why did the chicken cross the road because everyone on the other side already had bird flu

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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