The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

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What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra but like he actually did not a bar a womens breats.

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Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

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your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

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Connor "Rusty" McLeod

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your momma so ugly even she wouldnt date herself.

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What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

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What do you call 4 Mexicans hopping the border? 4 Mexicans in search of a better lifestyle from poverty.

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Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

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what is white and sticky? glue.

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Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

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What do you call five dogs with no balls? Five bitches.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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You wanna hear a JOKE !?? Justin Bieber has a DICK !!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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