What do you call a lettuce named Andrew? Andrew.

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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

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What's worse than a bee sting? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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roses are red violets are blue last time I saw u were in a zoo don't worry ill be there to not in a cage but laughing at u

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Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems don't rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Thumbs this up

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout boy scouts come back from camp

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A man walks into a bar.

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Why did the Jew pick up the penny? Because he dropped it

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How do you make a business man cry? Hit him in the face with a brick

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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whats difference between a bench and a mexican? a mexican isnt a bench

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what did you call a downer in the medieval times? spazalot

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a muslim walks in to a bar... there were no survivors

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Hello

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knock knock Come in.

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Why did the baby cross the road? His parents were drug addicts, and didn't pay him any attention.

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what do you call a black person in a electronic store? a customer

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What is the difference between Batman and a black man? Their skin color and bank accounts.

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A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

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Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

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Why couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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