GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

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i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

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GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

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Q: What did the black guy say when he stubbed his toe? A: Ouch.

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

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A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

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what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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come along children

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What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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A black man and a Mexican are hired as day laborers by a white man. The black man cleans the house while the Mexican mows and trims the yard. Both are hard-working and attempting to provide for their families in a down economy.

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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666 im christian

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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