why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

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What do you call a pickle that is sad? A pickle!????

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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Why was the child in the clown's car? Because the clown was a serial killer and abducted the child while he was at soccer practice, the child then raped and murdered

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Any idea of his whereabouts Nero? I am the leader, I fund this myself, as you know money is not my problem, its rather loyalty.

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Four Chavs drove of a cliff today, why was a i sad? It was my car :C

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I walked in on my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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"I love you, you love me" And you didn't just read that; you sang it.

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If u see a guy with a buzz cut and earrings what would u ask? R u a girl with cancer

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and the cut his head off

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You know George Washington? He died.

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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Will gropes Ebola victims

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road?

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Why Was my mommy gone last night? -cause I ****ed her

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Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, they're just out of bad taste.

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What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

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69

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a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

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Why Do Indians Not Like Snow? Because it is white and on their land

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If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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