Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

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holly, a japanese boy and an american boy walked into a internet cafe. They then began to play runescape so they could train together and trade rare items.

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why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her an anti joke

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Wanna hear a joke the WNBA

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she is a woman.

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

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What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Why was the boy upset? Because he has a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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Your mom is so dumb, she has difficulty acquiring a job to support her family.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Why does 4 +5 = Hitler? It doesnt it equals 9.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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