Why was the girl crying? She got kicked in the vagina

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Giving birth to the antichrist

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why would you throw a hooker in a lake? To go fishing

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Poopsack Jones

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A ginger rapping.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? None, let the bitch cook in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock. Come in. -mattobrado

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hey what time is it. 3:15

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock! Who's there? Boo. Oh hey man, you got the meth?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the japanese bomb pearl harbor? they wanted to weaken the US naval fleet to stop the US embargo on oil being shipped to japan

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Doctor! Doctor! Can I have a second opinion? The Doctor then sits the patient down and tells them from a different perspective that they have terminal Cancer and will be dead by the end of the year.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's gay and gay? Joe

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Bobby walked into a bar. He was then escorted out of the bar and arrested because he was underage.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

-What's a real anti joke? -This.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a pickle that is sad? A pickle!????

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops