Why did the chiocken cross the road? There's no such thing as a chiocken.

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Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

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How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He quickly exits as he thought it was the Polish restaurant located directly nextdoor. He then enters the Polish restaurant and orders a delicious lunch. He tips his waiter 20%.

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Knock knock Who's there? What.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

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Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

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Patrick is gay

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Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not a very good poet

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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What do you call Obama? - the president

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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