Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

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Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

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What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

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A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

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Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

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Yo' mama so stupid, she has a lower IQ than the average person.

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Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

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Saddam Hussein is the father of the mothers of all cultchies.

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

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Why did the black guy hate the white guy??? Because the white guy enslaved his ancestors.

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

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What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 1

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W.N.B.A.

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops