Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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The fitting room is a lie. Nothing fit me at all.

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Will gropes Ebola victims

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Why couldn't the little girl walk? She was raped by a herd of black men, resulting in irreversible damage to her rectum and groin area.

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So i walk in my house after drinking that night.... my wall is green

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Various reasons, one of which was to visit his wife in hospital where she was suffering from a sever case of depression. The other reason was to say his last words to her as she also has lung cancer.

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What do you call a kid with no arms annd legs? Names

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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What's wrong with your hand!!!!!???? nothing.

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chuck norris

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A Nazi ran into a Bar.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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-Hey, Larry! How much is one plus one? -Two

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What do you say to a blind buss driver? You suck

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why was the cow laying down? because little johnny shot him with a 50 calliber

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a guy asks another guy if he likes pepsi or coke the guy says coke and he doesnt agree so he kills him

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My butt!!!!

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What do you throw a drowning guitarist? An emergency floatation device.

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why did oprah, your mother, and a monkey on a rock have in common? the ability to fornicate

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SNICHOLS AND DOOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office, the podiatrist rubs his eyes and looks again and realizes it was just a man taking off his coat in a grandeur fashion.

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What happened to Alice? She fell down a big hole and broke her neck.

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What do Ed Milliband and David Milliband have in common? They are brothers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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