Why did the man masturbate? Because there was no one who wanted to partake in sexual intercourse with him.

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What do you call a person trying to save his interprise from partaking in a financial collapse by binging on alcohal? An alcoholic.

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Peas and Corn. Porn., a deer

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(Q)What do you call 4+4? (A) A math problem.

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Knock knock Whos there? Orphan. Orphan who? Orphan miller. Orphan miller who? Orphan miller jones. Orphan miller jones who? Thats it. Oh okay, I get it you're doing a knock knock joke Yeah. did it go alright? Yeah I guess, untill we started talking in 3rd person.

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So dont touch it

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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Your mother is so fat that unfortunately she can not fit into her picture for her passport and is not allowed to leave the country to go visit her dying mother.

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*Knock Knock* "whose there?"... "me"

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A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas. A: A specially modified coffin.

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What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve? Black mail !

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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A man walks into a bar.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Everyone dies

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What do you call 3 horses in 1 boat, in the middle of the Dead Sea? Lost

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Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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How can a black man burn his pop-tarts? If he leaves them in the toaster for too long.

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How do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the Brake

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Women's rights.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue I'm Schizophrenic and so am I

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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