What do divorce and a loose bear in a zoo have in common? They both tear families apart

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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a little girl gets raped

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

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what kind of person screaws in a light blub........ a electrician

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What did the terrorist have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

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Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

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Have you ever seen the mexican that went to college? Yes, the DREAM act increased the number of minorities in public universities

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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How many drunk Irishmen did it take to change the lightbulb? None, the bulb was fine.

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A horse walks into a glue factory..

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whats worse the being in a car crash? finding out that your mother and father were in the other car and were fatally injured.

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Knock Knock Who is there? You have no Dick

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why was six afraid of seven? cause seven raped and pillaged eight's family.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's just been shot, despite the fact that zebra hunting is illegal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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