one fish two fish red fish kill the fish

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

thumb_up thumb_down -6

if quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? testicle

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a supporter of Barrack Obama? A welfare recipient

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happen to the boys drink when the girl took a Sharp turn? Nothing the lid was securely fastened.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what do you call a black person in a electronic store? a customer

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? being raped by justin beiber

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you do when you're making out with your girlfriend? Play with another dude's ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A van drives into a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you find....... there's a..........

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why couldn't the college student get on the internet? He can't afford a computer.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the say to the host of the pool party after he pooped? Mr. TImmons! There is chocolate in the pool!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I HATE EVERYTHING OMG PEOPLE SUCK BOYS SUCK IM TAKING MY RAGE OUT ON THE INTERNET FDJKNDLKXC

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What does Obama and Darth Vader Have in Common? Nothing. Darth Vader is not a real person and thus cannot be compared to the president of the UNited States.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Canada's army

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What does Pontiac stand for - People Of Normal Thinking Intelligence Acting Classy

thumb_up thumb_down -30

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" and the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

but there is a road to the super market

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What's big, red and looks like a bucket? A small blue bucket labeled big red bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

LOL i just pissed on Hitlers grave! Shoudn't killed the Jews BITCH!

thumb_up thumb_down -92

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops