How many jews can you get in a car? 5, if you don't want any cops after you. The answer can also be 2,6,7,8,9. It's from car to car.

Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

A cat and a dog walk into a bar. The bartender says "it's refreshing to see perennial enemies enjoying each others company".

You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

what do you get when you mix a bever and a racoon? A bevecoon!

a man walks into a bar..... the man pulls out a gun and robs the place as he is exiting he bumps into a child the child falls in the street and is crushed by a bus. the bus in an attempt to avoid the child swerves and hits a maternity clinic next to a gas station that promptly explodes. the robber so distraught he trys to shoot himself but the gun misfired and the man was arrested and was raped repeatedly in prison...he now has aids...

Women

What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

What is black and hangs from a tree in my backyard? My neighbors children.

whats funny? ebola and 911

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

Hello

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

cheese

Don't rape me!

Once upon a time, You have a nice rack...

whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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