Two people were walking down the street. One was assaulted.

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Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

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What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? Well, one consists of two inanimate objects (a bucket and feces) and the other is a human being of African/African-American descent. As you can see there really is no real comparison here.

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What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

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Slavery

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what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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Wats wet and salty and people on the west coast get covered in it? Sweat.

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Your mama's so fat, that during her last physical checkup, her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to lose some weight before any serious medical conditions arose that would adversely affect her health and well being in a chronic fashion.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

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I cat tried to jump over a fence It was electrified

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That awkward when you adimaticlly read "moment in your head because you have seen too many of these awkward moment jokes.

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is too sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Here comes a car, It ran over m--

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you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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