A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than listening to a teacher talk? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

"Your moms so fat I jiggled my pickle and she jumped with tortoise." Is what I would say if I was retarded. Downvote this shiz!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: How do find the population of Mexico? A: You Google it.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Simon Cowell's hair is real.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's just been shot, despite the fact that zebra hunting is illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

World peace

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment were left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

guess what? chicken butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why didn't Sally eat the meatballs The meatballs ate her

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a skank.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was black

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Three black guys walk into a gym and play a rigorous game of basketball for an hour

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Oh, I must be hearing things.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops