What did the blind, def , dumb kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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Two Jewish Rabbis are sitting in a sandbox....

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. Deez nuts Ok

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms.

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No

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Q: Why did the young boy run away from girls and screamed that they had cooties? A: That's what little boys do. He also has an abusive home life

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When does 1=17? How many schizophrenics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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Bing

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your moms so fat when she sat on your ipod it turned into an ipad

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What do you call it when a drunk guy puts a tree in his house and then decorates his fireplace with his socks? Christmas (I didn't come up with this)

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i heart wiener

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how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

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Knock Knock Whos there? Its dad mom died....

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

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what did the book say to the lamp? nothing because BOOKS CANT TALK

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One day I was walking in the forest when I saw a squirrel get hit by a van. It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Q. What do you call a black priest? A. Holy Shit

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How do you fit 90 Jews in a Volkswagen Bug? You can't.

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What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

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My mom's dead

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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What does Obama and Darth Vader Have in Common? Nothing. Darth Vader is not a real person and thus cannot be compared to the president of the UNited States.

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Water, please.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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