There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

Lamborghini mercy, yo chick she so thirsty Swerve, swerve

why couldnt sally help timmy pick up his ice cream? she had no arms

Women

that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

Your mum is dead

Why didn't the black man pay for his child support bills? He made some unwise financial decisions in the past and is working three part time jobs just to stay afloat.

I scream. You scream. We all scream.

what did the noob say to the gamer your a gamer nooob

Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

Why did the tortoise beat the hare. The tortoise had carcinoma thyroid cancer in the renal pelvis uterur.

What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

Can I touch it?

Once upon a time, You have a nice rack...

Why do horses read books? We are all doomed...

Why did Willy kill the black man? Because not.

What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

Knock knock Who's there? Prost Prost who Prostitute

What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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