Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Guess What? What? Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Whats sad about a black women killing herself? She was my mother

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what do you call a cup?... a cup

thumb_up thumb_down +36

You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

thumb_up thumb_down +36

25

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was johny late to school? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +34

- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. - You don't need to because N and O are already together. - Then maybe a cyber-relationship would work. - Why ? - Look at your keyboard, U and I are next to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops