OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

once three middle easterns were walking down the street bomb bomb bomb

What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

what did Johnny get for Halloween. ebola

Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

Why'd the first koala fall out of the tree? He died. Why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first koala. Why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game. Why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? He thought he was a koala. Why'd the boy fall off the swing? He was hit by 3 koalas and a refrigerator. Why'd the boy fall off his bike? He had no arms or legs

Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

What's big and black? A black fridge.

Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

What lives underground? Grandpa

Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

You play the piano? What more can you do? Sounds complicated but try me.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

What did the cheese say to his friend, who was also a cheese, before the cheese took a picture? ''Cheese''.

Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

Your mum is dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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